My Summer of MaleTeenagers

The fireworks began in my head long before the 4th of July arrived. Such is the fun of having a teenage boy who has friends. Lots of friends. I applaud my son for being so likeable and having nice friends to hang around with. But the much adored, overly abused phrase "boys will be boys" has been applied once too many times so far. I have just ended June and begun July when both menopause and the summer of teenage boys have hit like a Ryan Howard homerun. Like I need the hot flash hell-go-round. I think science is better off hotwiring teenage boys' brains than trying to figure out how to get us to Mars. This particular point in my life is at the mercy of a 15 year old male brain. A brain that can recite statistics from football games, tell you who sang what song in what year and can inform you that he will capitalize majorly when he is in the job world because he just knows how smart he truly is. This same brain forgets what homework is but can hit the 99th percentile in the PSSAs. My school district is proud he performs so well on this test but must be scratching their cumulative heads when looking at his regular test results. I don't scratch anymore. Too much scratching leaves holes.

My 15 year old female brain was filled with not so much knowledge about statistics of football games, but how good football players looked in their uniforms. What color eyeshadow will make my eyes pop, and which hairspray can really hold it all in place. Will my breasts ever look as good as the other more developed girls in gym class (they never did). Its funny to me that our brains weigh the same, look the same and find themselves located above the shoulders in the same cranial mold yet function as if they were never hooked up properly. I suspect I will be making more entries as I take a ride on the teenage rollercoaster. So many thoughts, so many evil thoughts as to how to bring him down before he can start on another scheme that will surely pull his status as top 15 year old male who plunders parents in the "Teenage Boy Befuddles Parents Hall of Fame."

Stay tuned.